Funny Nursery Rhymes

These quick 4 liners are the perfect funny nursery rhymes to get your kids laughing.




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The man in the wilderness, asked me,
How many strawberries grew in the sea?
I answered him as I thought good,
As many red herrings as grew in the wood.

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There were two blind men went to see
Two bulls run a race.
The bulls did chase the bumblebee
Who stung them in the face.

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I'll tell you a story about Mary Morey,
And now my story's begun.
I'll tell you another about her brother,
And now my story's done.

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Nose, Nose, jolly red Nose,
And what gave you that jolly red Nose?
Nutmegs and cinnamon, spices and cloves,
And they gave me this jolly red Nose.

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Climb by rope,
Or climb by ladder,
Without either,
I'll climb no farther.

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Here we go up, up, up,
And here we go down, down, downy,
Here we go backward and forward,
And here we go round, round, roundy.

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Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
Went to bed with his breeches on,
One stocking off, and one stocking on,
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John.

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Smiling girls, rosy boys,
Come and buy my little toys,
Monkeys made of gingerbread
And sugar horses tinted red.

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Heigh ding a ding, what shall I sing?
How many holes in a skimmer?
Four and twenty. I'm half starving!
Mother, pray give me some dinner.

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Arthur O'Bower has broken his band,
And he comes roaring up the land,
King of Scots with all his power
Never can turn Sir Arthur O'Bower.

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There was an old woman, and what do you think?
She liv'd upon nothing—but victuals and drink:
Victuals and drink were the chief of her diet,
And yet this old lady scarce ever was quiet.

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As I was going to sell my eggs,
I met a thief with bandy legs,
Bandy legs and crooked toes,
I tript up his heels, and he fell on his nose.

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Lazy Tom with jacket blue,
Stole his father's gouty shoe.
The worst of harm that dad can wish him,
Is his gouty shoe may fit him.

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Little king Boggen he built a fine hall,
Pie-crust and pastry-crust, that was the wall;
The windows were made of black-puddings and white,
And slated with pancakes—you ne'er saw the like.

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To bed, to bed, says Sleepy-Head;
Let's stay a while, says Slow;
Put on a pot, says Greedy-Sot,
We'll sup before we go.

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Dingty diddledy, my mammy's maid,
She stole oranges, I am afraid:
Some in her pocket, some in her sleeve,
She stole oranges, I do believe.

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See saw, sacradown, sacradown,
Which is the way to Boston town?
One foot up, the other foot down,
That is the way to Boston town.

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What's the news of the day,
Good neighbor, I pray?
They say the balloon
Has gone up to the moon.

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There was an old man in a velvet coat,
He kiss'd a maid and gave her groat;
The groat was crack'd and would not go.
Ah, old man, do you serve me so?

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Three wise men of Gotham
Went to sea in a bowl,
And if the bowl had been stronger
My song had been longer.

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Up in the green orchard there is a green tree,
The finest of pippins that ever you see;
The apples are ripe, and ready to fall,
And Reuben and Robin shall gather them all.

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Charley loves good cake and ale,
Charley loves good candy,
Charley loves to kiss the girls,
When they are clean and handy.

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There was a little boy went into a barn,
And lay down on some hay;
A calf came out and smelt about,
And the little boy ran away.

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Handy-spandy, Jacky dandy,
Loves plum-cake and sugar candy.
He bought some at a grocer's shop,
And pleased away went hop, hop, hop.

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See saw, Jack-a-daw,
Johnny shall have a new master;
Johnny shall have but a penny a day,
Because he can work no faster.

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Cock a doodle doo,
My dame has lost her shoe;
My master's lost his fiddlestick,
And knows not what to do.

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I had a little husband no bigger than my thumb,
I put him in a pint pot, and there I bid him drum;
I bought a little handkerchief to wipe his little nose,
And a pair of little garters to tie his little hose.

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Cross Patch, draw the latch,
Sit by the fire and spin;
Take a cup, and drink it up,
Then call your neighbors in.

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Milkman, milkman, where have you been?
In Buttermilk channel up to my chin,
I spilt my milk, and I spoilt my clothes,
And got a long icicle hung to my nose.

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More Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes Classics




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